Food blogger by day, ninja superhero by night! That’s my new adopted motto. Or at least it would be, if I was, you know, famous enough to have a motto.
Right now my motto is “get through these next 24 hours and I’ll give you [you being myself] a cookie.”
Pretty sweet (ha ha yes I’m sufficiently hallucinatory to find that funny) deal, right?
Speaking of alter-egos and frosted goodness, though, every good superhero has an alter-ego. Nobody in their right mind is just a superhero. They’re usually your plain average Joe or Jane, only endowed with extraterrestrial or gadget-inspired awesomeness that’s a smidgen above the rest.… Read more
Do you all know what it means to feel hurt by someone you thought you could trust?
It feels a little bit like you’re sinking, a little bit like you’re falling, and a little bit like somebody’s tied you up by the extremities and thrown you into the water, all at the same time.
This isn’t an angry post, or a vengeful post, or a gossip-y post. This post is just a little…disappointed.
It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this way about anything. The last time was in eighth grade when a guy I’d wanted to get in touch with because we used to be good friends hung up on me when I told him who was calling.… Read more
Ever feel like you’re being pulled apart by the seams from all the stress?
You know…the stress that always seems to converge on the very spot on which you happen to be standing at any given moment? That stress?
I feel that way all the time. Fortunately, this bread does, too. And I always say that there’s nothing better than food that understands exactly what you’re going through.
With the minutes ticking down to the first day of the school term, I can already feel the jitters creeping up all around me, as if someone’s broken into a museum of entomology and set loose all the live specimens.… Read more
“He bent down and pulled his wand out of the troll’s nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy grey glue.“
–Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone
I don’t know about you, but when it comes to funny-looking foods at my dinner table, I have a hard time keeping my imagination in check.
So when I peeked into my fridge this afternoon and noticed the woeful lack of Trader Joe’s Mediterranean hummus inside, and when I made up my mind right there that I was going to whip up my own batch of hummus with what I had on hand–black sesame seeds for tahini instead of regular white ones–you don’t need a vivid imagination like mine to imagine what happened next.… Read more
Funflour Fact #1: Did you know that according to some studies, the number one fear in the world is not death, but public speaking? (I totally empathize!)
It’s catching. It’s contagious. And it’s extremely, rampantly…
You can probably guess who’s been receiving copious amounts of unseasonable (literally) emails as of late.
The great big Disney corporation has been sending me notices about its Halloween Bash since July. July, as in, the month of summer sunshine and the-only-place-that-sees-anything-remotely-autumn-like-is-Australia-where-it-SNOWS. And snow is considered winter, folks, not autumn. Don’t get me wrong: I love Disney. If I had to get a tattoo in an unnamed place, it would probably pay tribute to the cartoon version of the 100 Acre Woods inhabitants (sorry, A.A.… Read more
There are parents like my roommate’s. When asked what their daughter does as an English grad student (she’s in the same program as me), they happily expound on the importance of her literary choices and defend her to the core from the most cynical attackers.
And then there are my parents.
Oh, yes. My parents are absolute gems.
They’re what I call type B parents.
B as in “Bahahaha…I have no idea in holy tarnations what my daughter does. Why don’t you ask her? Then tell me when you find out.… Read more
Awkward questions are funny. Hilarious, sometimes.
They are less funny when they happen to you.
They are even less funny when they happen to you in “real time,” a.k.a. real life, where you aren’t allowed one full week in which you painstakingly type out messages, scrap drafts, cobble together 3 sentences that sound almost civilized, and finally panic as you check your Sent Mail box right after you hit the send button.
You can probably guess who’s feeling slightly mortified at the moment.
To be fair, I’m a currently a certified patient in the Hospital of Awkward Social Circumstances. I can’t help it. … Read more
I consider myself a fairly open-minded kind of gal.
Okay, sure–there are a few things that I tend to stereotype about. Whenever somebody says that word “Texas,” I immediately imagine a plump southern lady carrying a homemade batch of hush puppies and telling “y’all” to try a bite.
Anyone who seriously uses Twitter to update more than once a day is uncool. Anyone who still has an active Neopets account, on the other hand, is quite awesome.
And people from Idaho?
All 1,584,985 of them.
Okay, maybe 1,584,984 of them. I’m sure there’s got to be at least one kid who’s broken free from the tater chains and become a yam farmer.… Read more