I hope you’re all being drowned in a deluge of 2015 Recap posts these days, because I’m about to add to the pitiless fervor by giving you…..more recaps! Hooray!
2015 was a very special year here at Wallflour Girl. As you know, I try to spend ample time updating everyone here on my day-to-day happenings–but sometimes some (very exciting!) things fall through the cracks of daily life. So without further ado, I bring you a recap of 7 of my biggest, unmentioned accomplishments in 2015. I hope you enjoy reading about them!
7. Set the Guinness World Record for “most smiles flashed in a 2-minute period”
Okay, so how many of you knew before today that this Guinness World Record even existed?? I’ll admit–I had no idea either. Not until, that is, my friend told a particularly hilarious joke involving a bear ordering french fries in Yosemite and this goofy grin kept spasmodically popping up on my face and he suddenly turned to me and said: “Hey, you should try going for a world record of smiles!” Turns out, the application process is fairly straightforward, and I sent in my video to the review committee back in May. They sent me confirmation early last month: 122 smiles. So huzzah, you now know a world champion of smiles!!! If that’s not something to grin about, I dunno what is.
6. Became a ninja crossword puzzle creator for the NY Times
Those of you who are religious crossword fanatics will probably recognize the name Will Shortz–renowned puzzler and editor of crosswords at the NYT. Well, here’s some more big news that I’ve been hiding from all of you: I became a master crossword creator for the paper this year! Will and I met at a journalism banquet early this year on the rooftop bar of the dazzling Hilton Inn as we were sipping our sparkling ciders, and when I told him about my great love for puzzle games, he invited me to reach out about a part-time position he had open. So chances are that if you were doing the puzzle anytime between May and September this year, guess what–you were filling in my puzzles!
5. Shared a blueberry muffin with Tom Hanks
One of the many perks of being an L.A. dweller is that our celebrity-watching game is on fire. I decided to visit Le Pain Quotidien in Brentwood, a place notorious for its celeb presence. The place was packed that morning, and amidst jostling elbows the waitress finally sat me down at a table in the far left corner, almost hidden from view by the pastry display. As I sat down and ordered my usual (a blueberry muffin and juice), I looked around me in time to see…Tom Hanks, sitting right next to me! He smiled as the waitress set down my muffin and he said, in a voice that I never thought I’d hear a-jangling my eardrums IRL: “Howdy” (yes, the man says “HOWDY” unironically, wut) “that looks good.” When I finally found my voice, I squeaked: “Y-y-you want some?” And to my infinite surprise, he replied with a chuckle: “Sure, I’ll take some. Nobody in their right mind would pass up a free offer of muffin, would they?” Our hands brushed as he took my proffered plate and thanked me. And that, my friends, is the story of how I shared a blueberry muffin with Tom Hanks. Forget flu season–I am never washing this hand again, ever. Hey, wanna tell me what happens in Toy Story 4?!
4. Danced the tango AND mambo with Barbara Streisand
Speaking of celebs, my inner oldie was thrilled when I got swept on stage this year to dance…with none other than legendary singer Barbara Streisand! I don’t quite recall what the context for that was (it was a Halloween studio bash), except a dozen odd hands were pushing me to the front of the room and suddenly I was tangoing with Barbara. If you thought she was a great singer, you should see her kill it on the dance floor. Seriously WUT.
Note to self after this experience: LEARN HOW TO TANGO/MAMBO.
3. Completed the Iron Man while eating only donuts
You may have heard of the Iron Man triathlon, also known as the crazy man’s challenge–but did you know that I completed my first one this year? That’s 2.4 miles swimming, a 112-mile bike ride, and a 26.2-mile run across inland California!!! As a fun (well, “fun”) challenge by my insane friends, I consumed nearly 60 Krispy Kreme donuts en route as the only means of refueling. The swim was all right (though the water was pretty chilly), but the bike was killer, and by the time my legs hit the pavement for the run I felt about ready to die.
You know how they say that young people do stupid things?
Yeahhhhhh….That was a pretty stupid thing. But I did it, so HA!
2. Made a voice cameo in the latest Pixar film
How many of you have seen the most recent Pixar film, The Good Dinosaur? I watched it before winter break, but not for the first time: no, because believe it or not, I make a voice appearance in this film!! I was lucky enough to know the son of one of the casting directors, and he got me a spot in one of the final recording sessions for the movie. During the scene when a group of pterodactyls attack Spot, there are a few dino-squawks of “get him!” and “I’m gonna getcha!” That, ladies and gentlemen, is yours truly. I know, I know: fame and glory, here I come!!
1. Singlehandedly prevented the zombie apocalypse
Yeah, you’re welcome.
Okay, okay–so if you couldn’t tell already…..I made everything here up (don’t worry, I don’t think the zombie apocalypse will be happening anytime soon though, with or without me). I didn’t get married or have kids or meet Tom Hanks (boo-hoo) or buy a house or become a miraculously responsible person in 2015, and it felt boring to tell the same stories over again, so I decided that a little fictionalizing was in order. You can bet your funky fanny pack that all of these things are on my bucket list, though!
Wishing you all an amazing new year in 2016–here’s to accomplishing incredible new things every single day, whether in reality or just in your dreams!!!