You’re speeding down the dried fruits and nuts aisle with a shopping basket in one hand, a bag of oversized tortilla chips in the other, and a bawling five-year old hanging off your arm. You just whip round the pumpkin tower display near the front when your heels skid to a halt. You backtrack, slowly. You squint your eyes down the yogurt aisle, paying no attention to the increasingly hysterical wails coming from that wonderful $500,000 investment called Your Kid.
It isn’t. It couldn’t be. Or is it? Is that…Ala?
If you’re a normal sociable human being, which I’m betting you are, you’d probably come right up to me and ask. But on the off chance you’re plain
stalker stranger-shy like I can be when I know someone who doesn’t know I exist, the following is a list of 10 failproof ways to know you’ve met the real deal.
1. I am making the most intense small talk you have ever witnessed, be it with a cashier, fellow customer, or random kitty cat.
Some people hate making small talk. I have some friends who dread it so much, they’d rather face the terrors of a dysfunctional self-checkout system than allow any cashier to thrust them into a doomed discussion of how hot it’s been lately.
I am not one of these people.
I love small talk. Probably to a fault, though most folks brighten up when we get a good conversation about their day or some new event going. I’ve actually scored some pretty awesome friendships and date nights just by showing that I’m interested in the other person as a fellow human being. Yeah, I’m one of those people. My friends make fun of me every time we go shopping together because for about 2 minutes, I will inevitably become BFF’s with whichever stranger I am conversing with at the moment.… Read more