One of dearest professor’s spouses passed away last night.
I think all of us had a hard time staying focused after hearing the news. I know my mind was full of a whirlwind of thoughts.
What happens when it’s somebody who’s really close to you?
I can’t even begin to imagine. I thank my lucky stars that I can’t, but I can’t. I can’t. Period.
Sometimes those moments creep up on me and everything suddenly stops. Maybe I’m in the middle of scanning Beowulf. Maybe I’m standing in the kitchen half-listening as my mom chatters away at me while she’s making ma po tofu. Maybe I’m just sitting there thinking about something completely unrelated, like how I really want to make marshmallow Tigger Tails for Halloween.
The spoon stops stirring. The scanning is suspended. Whatever I’m doing, stops.
My parents aren’t going to be around for the rest of my life. Neither are my grandparents, or brother, or friends or mentors or cousins or aunts or uncles or all the people I know and love so dearly.
Wallflour Power: “Courage is not the lack of fear. It is acting in spite of it.” –Mark Twain
I have a really, really hard time wrapping my mind around that. I always thought I could handle the thought of it when the time came, in theory, but now I’ve been thrown off by something so removed from myself that I just. Can’t. Imagine.
And here I am, uploading photos and writing and trying to sort it all out.
It’s always a sign of how much somebody is respected when everyone around him or her feels the blow almost as keenly as if it had happened to them.
Another incredibly difficult thing I never had to think about was how you say you’re sorry when somebody has just lost their life partner, their significant other, their soulmate.… Read more